Conversation, they say, is the cornerstone of any relationship.
Starting a conversation with someone is not hard nowadays with so many options available to us. Besides being within easy reach over phone calls and messages, social media, and dating apps provide even more opportunities to connect with others. All you need to do to send the person a “Hi!” or a “Sup?” to initiate a conversation.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about keeping an open channel of communication with a person, specifically someone you are in a relationship with. Keeping it going with the same level of ease and friendliness requires mammoth effort from both parties involved.
And, conversation is one of the first things to go wrong when you hit a rough patch in a relationship. It’s vital for partners to feel at ease to have open conversations but this can also lead to issues. When your girlfriend feels offended by your behavior, her natural reaction would be to go silent.
However, she stops talking to you like before doesn’t mean that you offended her in some way. In this article, you will find listed the probable reasons for her less enthusiasm in conversations with you. Here you will also find some good tips on how to deal with the situation and win her back.
12 reasons why she stops talking to you like before
You thought things were fine between the two of you and without any warning she started behaving differently. In the beginning, you thought you had misread some cues and it was still all right. But slowly yet surely, the truth dawned on you that she’s indeed not happy about something and she’s showing her anger by scaling down her communication with you.
Let’s see why she’s acting this way.
1. She lost interest in you
If you are sure that you haven’t done anything to offend her, most probably, it has to be something to do with her. She may have lost interest in you and the relationship. This need not mean that she found someone else.
Maybe the realization dawned on her that you are not her type or not the right person for her. She may have learned something about you recently that made her change her view about you. Once she makes up her mind about you, she will scale down her communications with you, starting from phone conversations and messages.
If you look hard enough, you would notice that she is reluctant to meet you or spend time alone with you. She doesn’t even make eye contact with you anymore. Maybe she is finding it hard to tell you about her decision to break up. Or may not have made up her mind about it.
You need to find a way to initiate a heart-to-heart conversation with her. Unless she tells you what is on her mind, you can only guess. And, without conversations, you may get it wrong.
2. She’s with someone else
Guys do this all the time. They are capable of carrying on with more than a girl at a time without feeling the strain. But girls just cannot do this. They tend to wear their heart on their sleeve and whatever is in their heart is easily visible to one and all.
She may have been feeling disappointed with the relationship with you and she suddenly met this guy who she thinks is perfect for her. Though she’s reluctant about breaking up with you, she hooks up with this new guy. Maybe she wants to see how it goes with the new guy before breaking up with you.
But the trouble with this is that she cannot hide her feelings toward you in her communications. Her reluctance to be with you and have communication with you would be as clear as day.
If you know that this is the case, stay calm and wait for her to tell you her decision. If you want to, you can ask her about it. But avoid an emotional outburst at all costs.
3. You’re not yet a couple
You are friends and you have feelings for her. You suspect she too likes you. But you never had conversations with her about it or started dating her in the real sense.
As long as you don’t tell her how you feel about her, she may think that you’re in a relationship with someone else. She will find the signals strange and confusing. She may decide to remain aloof until you make a move.
She may even scale down her friendship with you because she may think that you don’t like her. The ball is in your court and if you take too much time to play it, she may find someone else.
4. She doesn’t like you, now that she knows more about you
At the beginning of the relationship, she liked what she saw in you. So, all was well. As the relationship progressed, she started learning more and more about you from yourself as well as your friends and family. She doesn’t feel comfortable with some of the facts she learned recently about you.
If your girlfriend is the snoopy or the gossiping kind, she may have dug up information about you behind your back. You may not be aware of this and that can make it very hard for you to make sense of your girlfriend’s behavior and body language.
If you care to see this from her perspective, she would be angry that you failed to tell certain important things about yourself. She may feel that she wasted her time and effort in building this relationship and it has come to nothing.
If this is the case, the only option before you is to come clean. Tell her your dark secrets and ask for her forgiveness. For all you know, she may forgive you. Open conversations are your best bet.
5. She’s too busy
This is something you cannot rule out. She has her own life to lead and take care of. If she’s a student, maybe her exams are approaching. Or if she’s a working woman, the project she’s involved in may be winding up and she’s busy with it. Or it has something to do with her friends or family.
If this is the case, you just need to ask her and clear the air. There is no need for you to guess what is happening with her. There is no place for misunderstandings in a healthy relationship. Communication is vital if you are interested in a long-term relationship with her.
6. She finds you boring
This was the impression she had about you in the beginning. As she saw more and more of you, she realized that you are not as fun as she thought you to be. She finds you boring. The reason for this may be that she hasn’t yet seen the fun side of you. Now, it’s up to you to reveal that side to her.
Are your communications restricted to only serious matters? When your conversation is only about mundane everyday happenings and you are not showing interest in any exciting activities, she cannot be blamed for considering you boring. Anyone would think the same.
Being young and in love is the time for excitement and adventures. Make it lively and make her laugh. You cannot go wrong with that.
7. You aren’t attractive enough
She knew it all the time but never paid much attention to it. Your connection began as a friendship and slowly transformed into a romantic relationship. Now that you are in a serious relationship, she thinks you are not good enough for her.
This may happen when the physical appearance of the partner isn’t considered important in the beginning but starts gaining importance later on. Friends and family may contribute to this with uncomplimentary comments about you. Ultimately, your girlfriend will sit up and take notice, even if she didn’t think it important when you started off.
That is a bummer, for sure. It isn’t fair to you. But again, all is not lost. She has gotten close to you and knows you well by now. When she withdraws from the relationship, she may miss your presence in her life and come back to you.
8. You sound gruff and unpleasant
She likes you as a person but listening to you speak is not soothing or pleasant. She finds your voice husky and grating.
Some may laugh at this reason but when you are dating a girl, this is a possibility. Girls prefer guys with deep, manly voices. To them, a guy with a deep voice has an aura of power and sex appeal. Low, resonant voices in men are perceived as masculine, respectable, dominant, and attractive.
If you, unfortunately, don’t have a deep, manly voice, your girlfriend may consider it as a turn-off. Every time you open your mouth to speak, she will feel more and more convinced to break up with you.
Unless you can change her mind about this and help her see your love for her, your relationship is as good as over.
9. You fail to understand her
Whether this is true or not, she feels so is all that matters. She may feel that you are unable to see things her way. This is bound to make her feel frustrated and angry. She may have been debating on this for a while and finally made up her mind about breaking up with you.
You need to look inwards and analyze your behavior toward her without bias. Do you ignore her feelings? Or rubbish her concerns? Do you support her and validate her emotions? Do you make eye contact with her? Being a girl these are important to her.
You need to have an open conversation with her and ask her to give you one more chance. Use this opportunity to know her and treat her better.
10. You haven’t shared any photos
You may have met her through mutual friends and met up a few times later. You may have exchanged numbers and made phone calls and texted each other a few times. But you never connected through any of your social media platforms or dating apps. This is strange. Stranger is the fact that you never exchanged photos.
This may seem ok half a century back. But in today’s age of mobile phones, social media, and instant connectivity, this is unpardonable. No wonder she feels that something is off with you.
You need not take photos together or share them with each other. But it is natural to share at least a photo of yours with your future partner, whether it is a selfie or otherwise.
11. You are rude and ill-mannered
You get a good idea about a person from their body language and behavior toward others. Especially in the early days of a relationship, the girl will be paying close attention to how guys treat others. Are you respectful? Do you treat others with dignity?
She knows that you will behave the same way with her in the future. If she finds anything amiss on this front, she will flee from you in no time. She knows it is a waste of time to pursue a guy with bad manners. Because in due course, it will come back to her.
12. You are not wealthy
This is an important consideration for some girls. They expect to lead a comfortable life and want their future partners to have enough wealth to support the kind of life they want to lead. Initially, when she started dating, she may have been misled into believing that you are rich. Once she got to know that you aren’t affluent, she lost interest in you.
Call her exploitative or a gold digger. In her world, money rules over love. If she wants to leave you on this count, consider yourself lucky. You are saved from a life of misery with her.
How can you win her back?
When she stops talking to you like before, it is most probably the first step toward a breakup. If the reason is something trivial and you still want her back in your life, you can take steps to win back her affection. Then, all will be well.
However, if the reason for her behavior is of serious nature, you may not want to get back with her. If this is the case, it’s better to let her go. You would be better off without her.
Here are a few tips to help you win her over.
- Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her.
- Make eye contact when talking to her.
- Take her out on a date.
- Gift her something she would love to have.
- Surprise her. Make sure she likes it.
- Get to know her better. Learn more about her hobbies and interests.
- Give her a pat on the back when she does something well.
- Plan something romantic. Again double check to make sure she likes what you are planning.
- Prove yourself as trustworthy. Work towards earning her trust.
- Talk about the future together.
- Work on your habits, body language, and behavior. Weed out parts of it she finds annoying.
- Resist from drawing attention to yourself all the time. In short, don’t be a show-off.
- Flirt with her shamelessly and brazenly.
- Set aside time for her and spend more time with her.
Behave like a gentleman. Girls never fail to fall for it. Desist from giving her advice and lectures. She had heard enough from her parents and teachers. Try making conversations more exciting. Don’t behave in a possessive manner with her. Don’t reveal your obsession with her.
Does Her Behavior Change Because of Her Friends?
It is common for individuals to wonder why their friends’ presence may alter someone’s behavior. While it is difficult to determine the exact reasons, it is possible that her change in behavior might be due to various factors. However, it is crucial to avoid jumping to conclusions such as assuming that why she ignores me is the sole cause behind her behavior change.
The Bottom Line
Conversations have a tendency to veer in unexpected directions. This is a natural occurrence for everyone. Each day brings its unique moments, offering variety. Yet, there’s a certain value in consistency, something that’s truly treasured in the long run.
When she reaches out to you before retiring for the night and you’re the first thought on her mind as she awakens, you’ve secured a special place. Now, it’s up to you to take this to the next level. Share stories that make her heart race, thoughts that make her mind wander, and dreams that make her smile.
So, my friend, be an artist of making conversations, painting a world of words that make her heart feel at home. With each communication, you’re not just talking; you’re creating a mosaic of connections, one beautiful piece at a time.
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